March 26, 2008

My father was Danny Joe Turner.

He was a fire cracker. I can be a lot like him .

And I am okay with that now

I am proud to be his daughter. for he gave me that Scottish fire and strength and Irish charisma .

Usually I would post and celebrate his life on April 20th, 4/20, when we had his funeral service after his ashes were flown back from Thailand.

But tonight as I lay in the tub, I had memories of the eve of March 25th , 2008. 9 years ago today.

I was on a layover in Calgary, and had just discovered the joys of how to download music. So i started download various covers of amazing grace from bagpipes to Janis Joplin

then suddenly I got in my mind that I needed to go for a swim.

It was my 7th year as a flight attendant , and I would rarely rarely enter the pools, even the most beautiful ones throughout the resorts in the Caribbean we would lay over in.

I just didn't like the water. or getting wet.

But on this eve, I felt such a deep deep need to swim, to move my arms, to pull thru the waters.

So I went down to the indoor pool, and swam like I never had before .

I felt like I was swimming along side my dad. I felt like I was with him in Thailand.

That night , or early morning, he died .

The story still remains a mystery to my family.

Alll I had was the feeling, of him struggling to stay a float.

and the memory of the dream .one week before

It was an awaking for me, the night he came to say good bye to me in my dream . (One day I'll write more about the vision i saw so very clearly .....)

They said it was pneumonia that took his life....drowning in his own waters...for my dad this would have been perhaps less painful. he loved the waters. he loved swimming. he was a strong swimmer, and at peace with the waters.

there were underlying causes im sure was causing him pain for so many years ,but dad didn't do doctors.....and this was his 9th life.

fire cracker. and adventurer he was .

I cant imagine how it would have been to take his last breaths alone.
I hope he knew I was with him.

I hope his Spirit felt me there. I know he wasn't scarred. I know he was brave and ready to go .

After all, my dad would always say, "Im gonna go to Thailand" everytime my mama would say "Im gonna go to Heaven "

He did it his way.......
  I should have known that look in his eyes, the last time i seen him before he left to Thailand, that that would be our final goodbye.... and that he really was going this time.....

there is so much to this story that I will one day put into more words, but for now
I just want to honour his last breaths he took on this eve, before he gave way and surrendered to those waters.

This year, I wish to learn to swim. like i mean really swim, with my head under water.

My mothers family is afraid of waters. Her grandmother came over on the Titanic and lost her parents to the icy cold waters . This life long trauma lived with her and was passed on thru the wombs of her daughters daughters ..

But My father was a river swimmer and a diver , He was strong. and that strength lives on in me.

I am the miracle that was birthed from my father and mothers union ....to move forward fearlessly into the world, and let the wounds of their ancestors be healed..

May it be so .

Miss ya dad
Thanks for teaching me about Rock and Roll
and about having good dance moves
and to never burn bridges.
thanks for all your wild stories
you were a great bridge builder and I love you.




May 21, 1949 ~ March 26th, 2008
Danny Joe Turner